Tough Love
In a desperate moment I would call the cops to make it stop, knowing that would make it worse.
I think I was 8 when our parents brought in a counselor from DCFS. This was a threat to my sister and I. They were not interested in the bruises or how many times the cops had been called for disturbances. They were there to explain that my sister and I would be put into the system, most likely be moved from foster home to foster home and we of course would be separated. We didn't realize parents had that much power. They can kick you out of their house but make it so you can't stay in the same town. They can actually force you to leave town.
This was the era when “Tough Love” was so popular.
Oh and we were classic examples.
Signs of a troubled teen:
Your child becomes more secretive, and it seems like more than a desire for greater privacy
True. All we ever did was hide up in our room reading or writing. We lost our bedroom door so there was less secrecy.
Your teen has regular, sudden outbursts of anger that are clearly unreasonable and out of proportion to whatever has caused the anger
Clearly screaming crying jags are inappropriate as your room and all your worldly possessions litter the backyard to be thrown out and given away.
Your teenager has suddenly changed his or her peer group and hasn't made an effort to let you meet these new friends. The new group has led to a distinct change in appearance (clothing, jewelry) and change in attitude (more sullen, defiant, hostile).
We were sullen, we occasionally kicked the crap out of each other, we didn’t have friends. And the one friend we found to play with in the neighborhood our mother screamed at for leaving the back gate open. She never came back
Your adolescent has stolen money from your purse on regular occasions.
Totally. All the time. We wanted popsicles, ice creams and candy like the other kids. And we didn’t ask, because we weren’t allowed sweets.
Your adolescent has extreme mood swings, from depression to elation, and seems to sleep a lot more than usual at times.
True. All it took to crush our mood was our mother in a bad mood.
So we really had no defense. We didn’t tell people. I mean how embarrassing to admit we were so horrible that our parents couldn’t stand us. So we sat there sullen and scared, for no matter how my sister and I fought we were the only thing we had.
I think I was 8 when our parents brought in a counselor from DCFS. This was a threat to my sister and I. They were not interested in the bruises or how many times the cops had been called for disturbances. They were there to explain that my sister and I would be put into the system, most likely be moved from foster home to foster home and we of course would be separated. We didn't realize parents had that much power. They can kick you out of their house but make it so you can't stay in the same town. They can actually force you to leave town.
This was the era when “Tough Love” was so popular.
Oh and we were classic examples.
Signs of a troubled teen:
Your child becomes more secretive, and it seems like more than a desire for greater privacy
True. All we ever did was hide up in our room reading or writing. We lost our bedroom door so there was less secrecy.
Your teen has regular, sudden outbursts of anger that are clearly unreasonable and out of proportion to whatever has caused the anger
Clearly screaming crying jags are inappropriate as your room and all your worldly possessions litter the backyard to be thrown out and given away.
Your teenager has suddenly changed his or her peer group and hasn't made an effort to let you meet these new friends. The new group has led to a distinct change in appearance (clothing, jewelry) and change in attitude (more sullen, defiant, hostile).
We were sullen, we occasionally kicked the crap out of each other, we didn’t have friends. And the one friend we found to play with in the neighborhood our mother screamed at for leaving the back gate open. She never came back
Your adolescent has stolen money from your purse on regular occasions.
Totally. All the time. We wanted popsicles, ice creams and candy like the other kids. And we didn’t ask, because we weren’t allowed sweets.
Your adolescent has extreme mood swings, from depression to elation, and seems to sleep a lot more than usual at times.
True. All it took to crush our mood was our mother in a bad mood.
So we really had no defense. We didn’t tell people. I mean how embarrassing to admit we were so horrible that our parents couldn’t stand us. So we sat there sullen and scared, for no matter how my sister and I fought we were the only thing we had.
posted by Perdita at 9:59 AM
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